Choosing Is No Choice


I was wandering when it finally got to me. Do we have a choice of doing? Obeying? Becoming? Creating? Do we choose? Or is everything chosen for us in a form we are not aware? Did I choose the fact that most of the time I didn’t had any choice? As someone asked me the question “what is your goal in life?” I uttered the words: “having a choice!”


 Be IT!

Be IT!

Where others are certain of the right to choose, I had to fight for it every step of life. Where others can dream of getting to the moon I had to dream and reach the state of having a choice. Me, who am I? Let me introduce myself, my name begins with WO and ends with MEN. Me, I am that person who has to understand that her name includes MEN. I am that person that holds the weight of a heavy burden called honor, I am the person that has to step back when the race of life is announced. Me, I am that person who has to care, who has to be gentle, who has to nurture, who has to obey, to smile when feel like crying. I am the person who has a right to live but no right to live it on her own terms, I am the person that needs to bent for culture, I am that person who has to crawl a mile when having the ability to fly sky high, I am the person that is responsible for the grace of a men’s heart, the crown of a men’s head and the happiness of a men’s body. I am the person who has no choice in choosing a life. I am a woman!

I know that most of you reading this will disagree. You will say that the 21th century gives everyone a choice but that it is up to us to make that choice. I agree that there is always a choice, but is that a real choice? Confused? Let me elaborate. In our culture a women is given choices but before making a decision she is confronted with a lot of things such as family, honor, culture, religion, family name, the future of other brothers and sisters, the health of parents, the tears of grandpa and grandma, the debt of parenting. To then make YOUR choice is like running a marathon while your bound by a rope to the start line. You may participate in the marathon but your not allowed to run. Is that the definition of a choice? I know that now days a lot of women are standing up for the right of having a choice but their choice is given to them in return for their name, honor, respect, personality, family, heart, soul or happiness. Is that something we are proud of?

Women are given choices within boundaries of their society. They are allowed to walk but if they have the ability to run or fly they are asked to just walk. When they have the courage to fight a war they are asked to obey in the battlefield of a household, when they have the creativity of creating miracles they are ordered to create a meal, when they have the power of binding nations they are asked to bind their family, because we unintentional believe that “ THIS IS A MANS WORLD”. Drown by our own vision we forget that this world “WONT BE NOTHING, NOTHING WITHOUT A WOMAN OR A GIRL.”


By Sodaba Abibzay

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