Gender equality

Gender Hypocrisy


As being a female raised by Afghan parents and being Muslim I am the definition of oppression by most western people. It saddens me that the word female is linked to a certain role or a certain stereotype. It makes me even more sad that the words Muslim female is linked to oppression and brutality. A woman can be a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister. These roles i understand because this is biology. Then what is your problem may many ask after reading this? Well, my main problem is that the social image of a woman is portraited as a cook, a cleaning lady, a nanny, a nurse, a servant , a lust object, a baby making factory but above all obedient towards the man clan, This disturbs me, this makes me feel small. This makes me feel unwanted. This makes me feel unappreciated.

Discussions about the gender role is a tale as old as time but discussions about secret sexism against woman is one that is not conducted to often. Biology has made differences between man and woman. I don’t deny that. Certain things are for a woman harder to do than for a man, but certain things are for a man impossible to do in comparison to a woman. My parents are the older generation and even in their time i have noticed the struggle of not having certain socially forced ideas about the gender role. I have been brought up by the believe that a woman can and should be strong and independent but the contrast is that a woman should also be obedient and serving towards her partner. This the the reason why most woman decide to be alone instead of engaging in to a relationship. I also want to say that a woman choosing to be a housewife or a stay at home mom is as much as respectful as a woman wanting to make a carière and provide for her family. My biggest obstacle is that woman are not giving the possibility to choose. Instead often things are expected from them based upon ancient old idea’s that are no longer relevant

What is the role of a woman and what is the role of a man? Who decides that? Society? But society is changing. Religion? But religion has given equality towards both. Upbringing? But your parents are the older generation and things have changed in the years that you have become older. Education? Nowadays more girls are highly educated than man in the west. In countries where they are out blinked by man one of the main reason is because they are denied education due to poverty or culture. Income? Woman where depended on men for their basic needs in life just as a roof on their head, food in their stomach and clothes on their bodies. The man worked and the woman stayed at home and did the household and upbringing of the children. ( which is really hard but still was not considered as work because it did not bring up money) She did this not because she did not want to work but because she was not allowed to. She did not have that right. How is that in 2020? Woman had a late start in the rights of education and working but they made up for it. A woman nowadays has her own income, pays her own bills and buys her own needs. In most cases a woman provides for her family as much as a man does. So many changes in the gender role.

The ancient gender role was:  A woman cooks, bakes, cleans, looks pretty and serves her man. This role was given to her because her man had the role: to work outside, get money, pay all the bills. But what if a woman starts doing the same thing as a man? Isnt it more than normal that a man also starts doing the same thing as a woman? Isnt it crazy that in a world where man can profit of their wives working and bringing money in that same man also requires a woman to stick to her ancient gender role? That cooking diner is a thing woman do? That baking is something that mothers do with their daughters and that cleaning the household is a girl thing? To those man having these expectations of their woman, The moment you guys work your butt of to give your family everything they ask en need without the financial support of your wife, that moment you can start to talk about the gender role. But if you accept that your wife works and helps you build your future together than its high time that you start to understand that the gender role that is ancient and not of this time starts going out of your head and in to the dustbin. You want an independent woman but she has to be obedient? I smell Hypocrisy. The sad thing is that few male readers will immediately think: ” Feminist”! Not knowing that Feminists are Humanists who only ask for equal and fair treatment of both genders towards each other. No one is above each other and no one should act that way.  I must also say that there are enough men who are Feminists and treat their spouses great and with the respect that they deserve. For them: stay the humanist that you are!



Sodaba Abibzay

1 thought on “Gender Hypocrisy”

  1. Very well written and I enjoyed reading this. Makes me sad to think that you feel so affected by these gender expectations. I think the way forward is to remove these gender roles, and not belittle others who may or may not stick to them. Instead it should be up to the individual to choose what they want to do, and they shouldn’t feel at all influenced by these constraints.

    Liked by 1 person

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